You May Live in Alaska…

Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Alaskans:

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t work there, you may live in Alaska.

… … … …

If you’ve worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Alaska.

 

If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Alaska.

 

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Alaska.

 

If you know several people who have hit a moose more than once, you may live in Alaska.

 

If you have switched from ‘heat’ to ‘A/C’ in the same day and back again, you may live in Alaska.

 

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Alaska.

 

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Alaska.

 

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Alaska.

 

If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Alaska.

 

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph — you’re going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Alaska.

 

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Alaska.

 

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Alaska.

 

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Alaska.

 

If you find 10 degrees ‘a little chilly’, you may live in Alaska.

 

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to your entire Alaskan friends & others, you definitely live in Alaska

Top 10 Things Native Americans Can Say To A White Person

Just a light humor for this eve!!!   Enjoy.   🙂

 

Top 10 Things Native Americans Can Say To A White Person 

 

    • How much white are you?
    • I’m part white myself, you know.
    • I learned all your people’s ways in the Boy Scouts.
    • My great-great-grandmother was a full-blooded white American Princess.
    • Funny, you don’t look white.
    • Where’s your powdered wig and knickers?
    • Do you live in a covered wagon?
    • What’s the meaning behind the square dance?
  • What’s your feeling about Las Vegas casinos? Do they really help your people, or are they just a short-term fix?
  • Hey, can I take your picture
  • Smoke Book Account

Chinese Bamboo Tree

Love this story about the, “Chinese Bamboo Tree”

I like the story of the Chinese bamboo tree: You take a little seed, plant it, water it,

and fertilize it for a whole year, and nothing happens.

The second year you water it and fertilize it, and nothing happens.

The third year you water it and fertilize it, and nothing happens.

How discouraging this becomes!

The fifth year you continue to water and fertilize the seed and then—take note.

Sometime during the fifth year, the Chinese bamboo tree sprouts

and grows NINETY FEET IN SIX WEEKS!

The Bamboo Tree

Life is much akin to the growing process of the Chinese bamboo tree.

It is often discouraging. We seemingly do things right, and nothing happens

But for those who do things right and are not discouraged

and are persistent, things will happen. Finally we begin to receive the rewards.

I am now receiving the rewards of seeds that were planted 5 years ago

You are as well. Are you getting the results you want?

If not, begin today to sow the seeds of what you want 5 years from now.

Remember, if you keep doing what you’ve always done,

you’ll get the results you’ve always gotten.